wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
