And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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