just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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