I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
