I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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