Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
