In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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