i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
