dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
