For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
