CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize