Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
