Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
