Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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