Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
