the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
