I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
