He is an equal opportunity slut.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
