He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
