i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
do herpes really smell.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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