i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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