We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize