Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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