bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
