miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
