birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
