I will die if light touches me.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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