She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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