have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
