That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
