I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
