we have officially lost it.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
