Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
