So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
