Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize