Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
