Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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