Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
it's like iHOP with fire
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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