So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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