Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
