The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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