I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize