Just fell off a train. Bad.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
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