Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
