i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
pop tarts are not kleenex
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Randomize
