I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
