are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
