I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize