i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
