Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
