btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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