Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
This girl is more easily done than said...
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
