i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
