What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
