Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
This is not my ceiling
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
