U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
