YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
